Phone time and contactability

Sep 19, 2021

In the past two weeks, I realised that my phone usage was way higher than what I'd like, with an average of 3 hours of screentime daily and 60 screen locks. Most of this came from messaging applications.

I had my first phone around 15 years ago, a little later than a few of my peers. After the initial excitement, I'd always somehow mildly panic whenever I received a text message. ¹ It annoyed me at times—like I'd now had to put away whatever it was I was engrossed in, and now had to attend to the notification. In college, a friend scolded me for being annoyingly uncontactable and replying to her messages 2 days after she sent them. ² My mother would say the same, "You own a phone, mostly to irritate everyone trying to contact you."

Interestingly, the "contactable" aversion has clearly changed over the years. Whilst I still like to occasionally ignore messages and definitely forget to reply as quickly as most people expect, my responsiveness to messaging has gotten better.

Is this "better" in the grander scheme of things though? Who is it "better" for? Me? The sender? Do I actually like being so responsive? 🤔

Experimentation Time

I do still need my phone, for navigation, calculations, photos of beautiful scenery, music and such. I still want my phone too. Messaging can be enjoyable, especially with friends overseas, sometimes simply to tell them they're still on my mind and to appreciate that they hold me equally dear. When I come across something funny or interesting, it's nice to be able to share that with a friend in hopes they'll enjoy it too. Likewise, it's a delight to receive similar content from them. With some friends, we write essays to each other over text, on topics ranging from philosophy to the best movies to watch, and we probably won't want it any other way.

But… do my friends really expect instant replies, to warrant my frequent unlocks and high screen time? 🤔

In the recent few days, I've started muting my phone and switching off messaging apps on my personal desktop. Similar to email—I've marked out designated times to check messages and bulk reply everything in batches.

So far… no one has complained, yet. Including my mother.

What a difference it has made though! Simply within the recent few days, I've been able to concentrate on tasks at hand better and to sense the world as it happens around me. My thinking seems a little clearer, and my chosen focuses in life are brought to the forefront more often.

Hello, uncontactability

Obviously, this hasn't been a very scientific experiment, nor is this as well-researched as Nir Eyal's Indistractible. Perhaps I've just been more conscious about my mind's wanderings after realising the huge amount of time I've spent on my phone. 🤷‍♀️

That said, there doesn't seem to be any major downside of using my phone less. I'm also reminded of why I secretly love long-haul flights—airplane mode and a legit excuse for being uncontactable for long periods of time.

So… I guess this will be my new pattern of phone usage for a while more. In other words, if I don't reply to you, it's not you. It's me. ❤️